It’s been a while.. Vegas part II
My fans,
Sorry it has been a long time since I’ve written you. I’ve been bogged down for finals, but I haven’t forgotten you.
While in Vegas a few weeks ago I made my way to the Venetian, and ate at some asian restaurant.
We had some spring roll appetizers and a delicious noodle dish, served with a side of cream of sum yung guy.
I have a few new posts for you, and I am happy to announce that I will be going on a cruise this month. I will be sure to keep you updated with the various delicacies I eat and consequently poop.
Enjoy.
Before:
After: (Click the Link)
6/10 Wipes
**Again, sorry I haven’t been ‘regular’ lately. But my next post should make you squirm. Also, the next month is going to be shitty.. But I will deliver!
Way too long
It’s been way too long my fans. I’m happy to announce that this site has become wildly mildly popular.
I spent a few days in the wonderfully sinful city of Las Vegas. I came out 400$ positive, and am booking another vacation soon. The trip was a lot of fun, and the memories will last as long as they tend to when I drink heavily.
If you’re ever in vegas play roulette and put all of your money on red 25.
We went to Wolfgang Puck’s Restaurant, I think it was called puck, or wolf or some shit. Anyways, it was quite satisfying. The meal tasted a little better because I had just won a few 100$ at a table right before.
We ordered some apps - bleu cheese chips and calamari. Both were as delicious as expected. Per my girlfriend’s request we split a pizza. That was also pretty good, but nothing too noteworthy.
Pizza:
I washed the meal down with a beer or two, and this was the result…
After - warning, this is even too gross for me.
9/10 Wipes!
A bunch of sick cunts..
You guys are all a bunch of sick fucks. Thanks fans for helping me get 600 visitors yesterday alone, this post is dedicated to you.. Without you and fiber one bars, I wouldn’t be able to do this.
Last weekend I went to the Radiohead concert.
Right before the concert we pre-gamed. I love a twist on an old classic. Refer to my first post and you’ll see the nacho-pizza incident of 2012. Well this neat little restaurant has taken an italian-american classic and turned it into a punjab delight. Using a nan like bread as crust, and the sweat of 1000 virgins as olive oil, they were able to make a truly authentic indian-pizza.
I’m a fan of the curries, your tikka massalas and kormas, and I love the tandoris, not so much the way those people smell, but I really do like some good indian food. I washed it down with some top shelf vodka (not that plastic bottle shit we drank in high school).
I lost my face at the concert and spent 300$ in one night, but it was all worth it.
Before:
The slumdog millionaire - just think gas station burrito meets delicious pizza.
Buffalo chicken soldier
classic.
This food was amazing, and the ‘after’ came out slow and soft.
After - this picture came out kinda foggy…
8/10 wipes
Anonymous asked: Dude how did you come up with this?!
twas quite easy really, i poop everyday at 4 pm, and I hate when people post pictures of their food. Expecially when it’s not even gourmet. That shit makes me laugh… here’s a picture of my dinner, its fried chicken and green beans..to which i think “ ha i feel bad for you “
Give the fans what they want.
My fans, many have spoken,and few were heard. However, I have decided to grace you with a 2-for-1 special Monday edition of Food is Poop.
I have some pictures backed up - (No, I’m not backed up), so in order to catch up, I thought I’d post two updates today.
A week or 2 ago, I thought it’d be nice to go out to eat some breakfast. I went to a locally famous restaurant (which I won’t name unless they agree to pay me) for a delicious dish of migas. If you don’t know what migas are, imagine nachos, meets eggs, meets tacos. The side of refried beans, hashbrowns and sausage really made it special.
They are fucking dank.
On a roll, a little later I decided to make some pancakes. I made some blueberry pancakes drenched with syrup (not that weak whole wheat bull shit, but the straight-up bad for you kind.) The syrup was maple, so I think that counts as a vegetable.
Enjoy.
Before: Migas!!!! and a pancake ‘Action’ shot.
After: (breakfast truly is the most important meal(s) of the day)
8/10 wipes
happy valentimes day… err.. a little late
This post is a little dated, I’ve been busy with school and what not, but here it goes.
It was valentimes day. I cooked a meal fit for royalty, and made my woman a queen for a day.
I pan fried some chicken picatta, marinated some mushrooms, onions, and heirloom tomatoes, and brought it all in on a bed of angel hair pasta drenched in lemon and garlic butter. The kicker? Ahh yes, some shrimp brochettes, or as i call them, bacon wrapped, butterflied shrimp, stuffed with cheese-filled jalapenos.
The meal took me about 2 hours to make, 10 minutes to eat, and 24 hours to pass.
I washed it down with some cheap champagne.
Happy Steak and BJ day (coming up soon huh?)
Before:
After: (Note the heart like shape!)
7/10 Wipes - for style.
a much needed update..
My fans,
I owe you an apology for not updating this blog in a while. I have been wrecked with school and what not, but I am happy to finally get back to writing. I find it really theraputic. I hope you find solace in reading it.
I thought I would eat healthy for a little while, as I have recently hit an all-time high in the weight department. I’m a fat fuck right now. The good thing is, my body fat percentage hasn’t changed much, so I assume that I gained a lot of muscle in my recent bulk phase.
I was sick for a few weeks, so I decided to order some pho. Pronounced “fu” as in “fuck that chick gave me the herps,” or “I am fucking awesome.” It’s a rice noodle soup that asians rant and rave about, and it’s pho-king delicous. It’s loaded up with spices and vegetables that really help clean you out and decongest your sinuses. I suggest that anyone who is sick try it!
I nightcapped with a puerto rican dish of arroz con gondules, (rice with chickpeas) pork chops (oink oink motha fucker), moduros (fried bananas), and some broccolli (don’t know what else to say about that one…).
Before:
After: (You know you want to…)
6/10 wipes - i bumped it a point for the ‘cleanse’ factor… it really did feel great.
H0Ly Sh!t
I initially started this blog because I was quite proud of the craps I was taking, and honestly I was just tired of my friends (on facebook) acting like food snobs, always posting pictures of the meal they were going to eat. My first post was easily a 9/10, but the next few really started to irk me.
Until now.
My fans, I really did it this time…
I was out of town for the weekend, and I got to enjoy a delicious meal from a local gem by the name of Polvo’s. The food was amazing, and the ambiance matched. I got a good chance to spread the word about FIP in the line to the restroom. However, those thirty-something year old women did not appreciate my humor.They were ugly anyways.
I pointed at the menu and said, “I want that.” I lucked out and the waiter brought me a delicious cheese enchilada dish, which truly reset the bar for my little blog.
After 2 or 3 servings of tortilla chips, a delicious mango-rita, and 3 different types of salsa (not necessarily in that order….) I was ready.
The waiter brought out my dish, and within 3 minutes I was done. My guests were a bit perturbed by my pace, but that’s probably because they were some bitches and couldn’t keep up…
8/10 wipes - this one was a real clean stool…. one of those ones that you’re really happy to take.. the kind that feels good.
Before: (you can see a hand in the chips and salsa.. i did not eat the hand)
After: (Click the link if you have no soul)
As the Red Hot Chili Peppers once said…
Ding dang dong dong deng deng ding dong ding dong… or something.
This post takes us to communist china, where crapitalism is outsourced to other countries, and you can only have one kid.
I just berthed a food baby inspired by the oldest country in the world.
There is a bit of a back story to this dish, as it is likely not available everywhere. It is essentially sesame chicken tossed in black bean sauce. For years I went to my local chinese eatery and ordered the same sesame chicken dish, and when I was a little order I made the switch to Chicken with black bean sauce. After much debate one night at the restaurant, chang the waitor said “Try this special chicken” (in a thick chenglish accent I won’t type out).
Anyways, I’ve been sick, so that explains the last few days without updates(not the good kinda sick where I get to shit my pants everytime I fart..) I’ll try and do at least 1-2 per week. It’s all for you, my fans.
5/10 wipes
Before:
After: (click the link if you’re a disgusting twat)
Rest in peace Whitney Houston, I don’t believe in an afterlife, because I’m not stupid, but I dedicate today’s BM to you
A Weak Showing From Thailand
People from all over the world travel to Thailand for the legal child prostitution, grade A cheeva, and to drink snake blood ,of course; however, did you know that the Thai have some of the most amazing food in china? I guess when they’re not balls deep in a scantily clad 14 year old, they are mastering their skill in the kitchen, honing their champion-like prowess of the culinary arts ,refining their conneseur…ness….of what pleases the pallet, being sick cunts with the fork and knife (and possibly chop sticks).
Yesterday I ate some beef panang, a delightful peanut curry with some ingredients in it (which I do not really care to list).
I subsidized the meal with a brotein shake – 40 grams.. pussies.
And some sort of steak wrapped feta and spinach combo.
I’ve been ripping ass all day, and I almost shit my pants twice.
It’s all for you, my fans.
Before:
After(Click the Link if you’re a sick fuck)
4/10 wipes
However, see if you can spot some similarities in the before and after phase!